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MachHin, I’m sorry this is so difficult! I’m not sure if what I have to say will help, but I’ll give you some thoughts coming from my own perspective.
First of all, I KNOW how hard it is because I’d been going about 5 years trying to stick to an “ok” diet without sugar or gluten but cheating when I was stressed out, felt social pressure when eating out, or around the holidays. It’s only by some miracle that it’s finally the right time for me to just do it and actually succeed in sticking with it! The hardest part was psychological. Like you, I’ve only been on this diet for about a month, but I think those 5 years kind of prepared me psychologically. It’s either this, or suffer physically like I had been with the psoriasis and yeast infections.
And most importantly, I am SO DETERMINED to get better, that cheating is not even an option now. I’ve mentally prepared myself to accept that it will take at least 6 months, and possibly up to 2 years (or more) for my particular situation. I’ve found that fighting this idea just makes things more difficult. But accepting it, and knowing that in the end I will be healed makes me happy!
I also have a completely different perspective on food now, which helps a lot. I no longer see food as a source of entertainment, which is how food is often seen in our society. Look at all the cooking shows, restaurant meals, how we elaborately prepare meals at home. Not that this is a BAD thing, but it raises our expectations of how a meal should be: beautiful presentation with lots of textures, flavors, and variety etc. Is this really natural for humans? Or are we as a society making food more than what it needs to be? Hmmm… 🙂
Instead, I see food as something to take seriously as a source of nourishment, NOT something that I expect to make me feel good. Food is simply a way to keep us alive and healthy. So now, instead of feeling sad that I can’t eat a cheeseburger and fries because it makes me “feel good”, I feel gratitude that I get to eat at all and not be hungry!
I think another reason I can stick to the diet now is because, having suffered from depression for much of my life, I’m in a much better mental state than I used to be. You can’t really accomplish or be motivated for much when you’re feeling depressed. So taking care of yourself mentally and spiritually is a VERY important part of healing as well. Do whatever you can to TREAT YOURSELF and make yourself feel good whenever possible (that doesn’t involve cheating!) 🙂
I’m not sure if this helps you, but maybe it will help someone who happens to be reading this. *hugs*