Oh, Frustrated86, I feel your pain in so many ways. I’m nearly tearing up. If it helps: when I first cut out all the gluten free substitutes I’d added — GF cookies, muffins, bagels, etc. it was tough. I took it really slow. But one benefit I had was that I felt pretty good when I was GF. I tended to gain weight though. I was a junk food junkie, so you are talking to someone who counted calories so she could eat a daily snickers bar, french fries, and squeeze in doritos if no one was looking. I ate like this all of my life, until 2010. Those are all gluten free, too! But I decided to go Paleo because I liked the idea of better health and not having to worry about weight gain. Dear god, it was tough. And I worked in an office where we didn’t have a kitchen: the microwave was on a desk in the middle of our cubicles. The smell of some of the foods nearly drove me to drink. But something happens when you don’t have those foods for a long time: you don’t like the smell of them anymore. I used to LOVE the smell of popcorn popping in the microwave, of even frozen meals being heated. Now all I smell is chemicals, and it’s honestly offensive. I smell cake, and I enjoy the scent of richness…but I don’t like how heavy it makes me feel.
Here’s my theory, for what it is worth (this might only work for me, but hey, who knows?) Start focusing in on how you feel after you eat. Do the food diary thing and record how foods make you feel — even if you are having a candida issue, this is worthwhile. Really focus. Try to pinpoint those emotions attached to eating those foods, and the physical responses from your body. While doing this, when you are going to make something “healthy,” find an awesome, easy recipe online (I use google to find recipes for what I have on hand), and make some amazing dishes. When you start eating good, whole foods in easy recipes, and start realizing that some foods just don’t make you feel very good, it starts to give you a reason besides willpower. I honestly don’t want any of the things I see in a bakery anymore. It doesn’t even look appealing — I live next to a Wegmans!
So I don’t know if any of that is helpful. It’s what has worked for me. When I’m not knee-deep in candida ick, I’ve got a good body that stays that way because I nourish it and keep it healthy. That is worth it to me. But I didn’t get to this point overnight. It’s taken several years of small efforts, experiments, and trials to get here.
As raster pointed out, it’s worth it to at least get this under control. A few months eating different — heck, we tell our kids the school year will be over before they know it. 😉 And you have great support (thank you so much raster for your post — I really appreciate it) here.
Hang in there. I know this isn’t easy, and we live in a culture that makes it even more difficult.