What to tell People without saying "Diet"

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  Javizy 7 years, 2 months ago.

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  • #70257

    eve24
    Member
    Topics: 3
    Replies: 3

    Hello all! I have a seemingly trivial question, but I would greatly appreciate any pointers or advice.

    I was wondering, what do you tell people (friends, family, co-workers, etc.) when they try to feed you or get you to eat things like dessert that are definitely not on the candida diet plan? I’m sure some of you just say “no thank you” and the topic is dropped, but I have a particular problem with people trying to feed me, probably because I am quite slender and am often told I need to “eat more.” I would prefer not to tell everyone I am on a no carb diet or a candida diet, because my friends and family are always worried about me losing too much weight, even though I am at a perfectly healthy weight right now. Is there some way I can explain that I don’t eat grains or sugar without saying “I’m on a diet” (implying that I want to lose weight) or “I have candida” (to which eyebrows are raised at the authenticity of my claim)?

    Thanks guys!

    #70258

    raster
    Participant
    Topics: 104
    Replies: 6838

    I would say that you are allergic (to nearly every food) and that are avoiding these foods because they make you feel bad. That usually doesn’t get many questions asked or eyebrows raised because its pretty straightforward.

    Another one to say is that “sugar is the devil” and that you are on a no sugar diet. This may raise eyebrows, but people should understand that sugar is not healthy in general.

    If they are wondering why you can’t do dinner, just say “I can’t afford it” or “I’m busy tonight baking bread,” etc.

    -Raster

    #70259

    Thomas
    Member
    Topics: 71
    Replies: 605

    Well, I don’t have the problem like you but I would point out to them that I want to live a healthy and long life.

    I am from Europe and one thing surprised me how terrible fat a lot of folks are in the state. Yesterday I saw a American documentary where they interviewed folk from Austin Texas. Boy, it looked like every one there was fat.

    Where are you from, I can Imagen if you are from that area and look normal and slim they think you are sick.

    I want to say that I don’t know you. And there are girls which are having an unhealthy lifestyle starving themselves to death. I hope you are not doing such a thing and use my letter to you as an excuse. If you learn what is healthy and what is not and how to eat a nutritious meal I believe that being slim shows more signs of being healthy than these fat folks I saw yesterday in TV. And what amazed me that they still where eating pizzas and Kentucky fried chicken wings. That is not healthy.

    all the best to you and a lot of wisdom
    yours
    Thomas

    #70265

    Able900
    Spectator
    Topics: 92
    Replies: 4811

    I’ve actually made a face at the food before when the person wouldn’t leave me alone about trying it, holding it out to me like I’m expected to take it and devour it immediately. Usually making a face and saying, “I couldn’t possibly eat that” will turn them away.

    You have to learn to stand up for yourself and your rights when you’re trying to eat a healthy diet, it seems that many people are strictly against this because it usually makes them feel guilty, and who enjoys feeling guilty? Making you eat it also would make them feel better about their own choices, in some insane way.

    Able

    #70266

    eve24
    Member
    Topics: 3
    Replies: 3

    Thank you Raster, Thomas and Able :).

    Thomas, your description of Americans made me laugh. Yes, we do have quite the problem with obesity in our country, especially in certain sections. I am most certainly not super skinny or at an unhealthy weight, and I do not have a danger of developing an eating disorder. I’m not “model thin” by any means, but compared to a lot of people around me, I look slim. Many of my friends and family members profess to having between 7 and 20 pounds to lose…The standard American diet is unhealthy, and even when I was eating lots of carbs, I frequently prepared food at home and never ate fast food. Plus, I walk a lot and ride my bike. Anyway, I am not scrawny by any means, and I love to eat :). I eat as much as I want of the allowed foods, but it’s hard when I have friends and family literally saying, “Oh, one bite won’t hurt! Just eat it! Everything in moderation…”

    Raster, I like the idea of saying I’m avoiding sugar or just trying to be more health conscious in general. People seem to think that if you are thin you can eat whatever you want, but even though my metabolism is fast right now, I certainly cannot eat whatever I want because of the yeast related problems. There is more to being healthy than being young and thin, and sometimes I feel that people around me don’t understand that.

    And yes Able, I do need to learn to just stand up for myself more. Thank you all!

    #70267

    Thomas
    Member
    Topics: 71
    Replies: 605

    It sounds to me, reading your second post that you are perfectly fine.
    Its all about health and being true to yourself. You have to see them with there: “one bite will not hurt you” talk like a drug pusher talking to a kid that taking a little crack will not hurt.

    If you really understand that the true you is found in the freedom within you, you will not sell out. Nobody can give you freedom to be what you are. You have to act on it and acting on it means sometimes to say, thank you but no.

    If they are hurt and sad and afraid or unsure, that is their choice of feeling. They want to feel that way but you are not responsible for their feelings and thought. The only responsibility you have is to be truthful to yourself.

    Look inside of your heart and see how you feel after you did you believe the others want from you. If you dont like that feeling you have to say thank you but no, I am just fine like I am.

    yours
    thomas

    #70275

    Himawari
    Member
    Topics: 6
    Replies: 65

    I second the “allergy” suggestion.

    In Japanese, the word “diet” is used exclusively for weight-loss regiments, vs. in English where you can say “gluten-free diet” without the weight-loss implication. So I’ve had a really tough time explaining what I’m doing (I’m also fairly thin, so I’ve had a lot of people react in concern when I say “diet” in Japanese conversation).

    What I’ve been saying (literally translated) is “diet/eating habits for the sake of (healing) my allergies.” In English, I usually say “I’m temporarily on a strict diet for the purpose of healing some severe allergies.” The “temporary” part gives people a little comfort (for those who think the diet isn’t giving us proper nutrition or is for hippy nutjobs), and the “allergy” part gives it legitimacy and is easy to understand.

    In my case, since I’m fighting eczema, this reasoning holds very well (I can indicate the rash on my skin), but the concept of extreme food allergies has become quite mainstream, so most people will leave it at that in my experience, and potentially give you a little more sympathy than if you try and describe a condition they’ve never heard of.

    #70293

    kirstyk4
    Member
    Topics: 9
    Replies: 125

    I’ve come across this issue many times. I live in America where people are much like what Thomas saw on TV. Although we aren’t quite as bad as Texas…we are getting there. It is getting bad enough where people who are skinny are targeted more than people that are overweight. I used to be slightly overweight, and then in about two years I lost over 50 pounds. Feels like I have seen both sides of the fence. I have more problems now with people making comments about my weight than I ever did before when I was overweight.

    People are always trying to get me to eat food. Seems like every day at work/school someone says “Want a cookie/cupcake/slice of cake”. Food is everywhere. The fact that it is everywhere doesn’t bother me as much as the fact that people won’t leave me alone about it. I usually say “No thank you” or “I’m full” but people won’t leave it at that. They start to say things like “Oh come on, you can eat stuff like this and it won’t effect you” “So…I’m full and I can’t stop eating it”. Just seems like people want me to eat this stuff more now that I’m rather skinny. Sometimes it’s like they want me to eat it so that they won’t eat it anymore…LOL!

    It’s not just the fact that they are always trying to talk me into eating foods that I can’t eat, but it’s also starting to get to the point where I am called names for being skinny. This is the part that really upsets me. When I was slightly overweight, no one ever talked about my weight unless I brought it up myself. Now, everyday…several times a day, people are commenting on my weight. Things like “She’s cold because she’s a stick” or “You are boney” or “What do you wear…a size 0 pants?” Even sometimes…”I hate you, you skinny bitch.” My doctor implied that I’m anorexic once and that’s when I decided she wasn’t listening to me.

    I have let my immediate family know about what I’m doing. I am honest about what I am eating and why I am doing it. They think it makes sense and happy that I’ve finally found what was causing all of my problems. The rest of my family, unfortunately, do not know…and are in fact VERY rude about my weight. Most of my family has a weight issue and it makes them feel better about themselves to attack me (or at least that is how it feels) about my weight. On Christmas day…of all days…my family started asking me a TON of questions about how much I weight, why was I not eating the foods that they are eating, and calling me many of the names I’m mentioned above. It was enough to bring me to tears.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is…some societies are unwilling to listen and accept someone who is skinny and healthy. In some parts of the United States, skinny is the minority and they get more crap than those that are overweight. No one talks about weight when someone is overweight because they don’t want to upset them. Well guess what…people who are fighting to keep weight on have feelings too!

    With my husband’s family, I didn’t want to explain all of the details about my diet so I just told them that I have a gluten/yeast allergy. Someone else on this forum suggested it and I thought it would work great. Unfortunately, that family went out and bought a bunch of gluten free foods thinking they were helping me. I tried to explain that I appreciated the effort but that I couldn’t eat that either. They got a little upset with me. Then they kept trying to get me to eat things like potatoes and carrots that are gluten free/yeast free…but I couldn’t eat because I’m still on stage 1. In this case, the allergy comment didn’t work as well as I thought. Other times, the allergy statement has worked better.

    Maybe it’s being skinny and saying that you have a sort of allergy that gets people question you more than normal. Or maybe it’s more where I live and how people treat food.

    It is sad the trouble we have to go through just to eat what we want to eat. What we put in our bodies is completely our choice…but it seems like not everyone understands that. I know it will get better over time as I am able to eat more food options and it will appear less strict and confusing to others. Until then I just have to let these comments roll off of me and remember that I am doing this for myself and it will be worth it in the end. 🙂

    Kirsty

    #70296

    Javizy
    Member
    Topics: 20
    Replies: 945

    I was thinking of saying I have problems with my digestive system and need to be really careful about what I eat for the next few months if I have any chance of curing myself. If they say “go on, just a bite” or something, I could say, “it’ll give me heartburn, intestinal pain, mess my skin up etc and generally just set me back up to a week or more, which isn’t worth a two-second bite. I really wanna get myself healthy as quickly as possible, so, no thanks.” Or something like that 😉 If all else fails, mention something about your doctor’s orders.

    Still, social pressure is one of the hardest things about a strict diet. It’s what made me fail repeatedly when I was attempting a low-carb, anti-allergy diet. I never realised how important food and drink is to socialising before last year. You have pretty limited options without it. I’m not even sure how I can see a certain group of friends, since we always meet for a meal and alcoholic drink. I don’t even want to go on holiday until I’m recovered, since trying native foods is one of the best things about visiting a country for me. At least Starbucks serves camomile tea!

    Having a well-defined set of guidelines will really help me this time though. Before, without really knowing what I should be doing, I was thinking things like ‘a couple of chapatis won’t make a difference’ or ‘two small bottles of beer isn’t gonna set me back long’ and that, coupled with the invitation and desire to go out with my friends, led to utter failure.

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