overwhelmed :( your advice?

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    I’m sure your best advice would be for me to see a naturopath, so maybe I will try to find one. I took my daughter to see one about 6 years ago, and he ended up advising me just as much, said I was adrenally exhausted. Yeah, that felt about right! 😉

    As a child, I had eczema/psoriasis, and frequent bronchitis, severe pneumonia once. In teens, I would get UTI’s and was treated for iron-deficiency anemia. In college, I developed severe asthma. It would worsen just before my monthly period, which I told doctors but they shrugged off and kept prescribing more medications. I was hospitalized almost monthly for over a year, and then they kept me on steroids… until I developed insulin-dependent diabetes. I was very thin, but began to put on a little weight at that time. Dry skin, tired, yes, within a few years I was suffering with hypothyroidism. Despite all, my husband and I had three children.

    My children… my son had thrush as an infant, and became mod/severe autistic at 26 mos. Our older and younger daughters had some similar autistic issues plus the baby had developed juvenile arthritis by the time she was 2 years old. Then my ADHD husband and I divorced. The rheumatologist was pumping my baby full of meds and methotrexate injections (I had to give her these at home), and it broke my heart to see her so pale and lethargic. My ex-husband had now begun a fitness regime which cut out gluten/dairy, and he said he felt like a new man – could think clearly, and lost weight, looked great. Unfortunately there was another woman, and we did not get back together, but we have kept an amicable relationship. And we were hearing more about how this could help autistic kids and arthritis. I began the diet for the kids and myself – and it helped my asthma, too. Amazingly, my daughter’s arthritis in knees, ankles, wrists, etc. all virtually disappeared within a few weeks of cutting out gluten/casein. That’s when I went to the naturopath for further guidance. And told the rheumatologist to….well, no, I didn’t, but I wanted to!

    For two years, I was good at keeping us on the gf/cf diet. My son went into regular preschool and is basically normal now at age ten, has some minor anxiety. After those two years, when we fell off the diet and didn’t get back on it… somehow the gluten/casein didn’t seem as harmful to us anymore. I do think we need to get back on it, though, to help with adhd/focus issues. I am actually 🙁 medicating younger daughter with ritalin now, and feel guilty about it.

    I feel guilty a lot, bc I KNOW that we should be gf/cf. And I know as a diabetic, I should be eating right and NOT drinking Coke! So no lectures please. Food was never important to me before those very stressful unhappy years. Now I know I cope with food. @@ I have remarried and am a stay-home mom again – we have six kids and I’m homeschooling! It’s a busy life but not as stressful. I am a little overweight, and lately my hair has been thinning. I had a bleeding UTI a month ago, treated with two aggressive rounds of antibiotics. 🙁 I also had been getting spontaneous nosebleeds nearly every night and day for four months, until I started an iron supplement a few weeks ago – then those stopped! But I’m now battling yeast infections. @@ I feel like a wreck. I can’t sleep at night, tired all day. I drink Coke for energy and treat. 🙁 My menstrual flow has turned almost completely to clots. I tried using progesterone cream for a few months, but stopped a month or so ago.

    See, I get on these kicks where I’m going to do a cleanse, I’m going to take these magical supplements… I have bins full of supplements, and cleansing agents. Because…that’s another reason where I KNOW better… About ten years ago, I did some bowel cleansing with psyllium and bentonite shakes, Paragone, and daily enemas. I passed horrific things, including parasites and black-tire plaque. I am a small woman – age 41 now – and am often mistaken as being pregnant. Oh, also, I would do some enemas – back then and occasionally since – which would stir up something rectally, caused itching until I did more enemas with vinegar, and then would pass lots of yellow/clear/brown strands, candida I’m pretty sure it was.

    Are you feeling overwhelmed yet, just hearing all of this?? lol And I feel like a nut case when I try to explain all of this to a doctor. The last thing I want, anyway, is another prescription “cure.”

    HELP. Don’t you think the best thing would be for me to just go on a very simple, anti-candida diet – since I can’t seem to do a fast. 🙁 I’ve tried a few times lately to begin the Blessed Herbs colon cleanse, to follow with internal cleanse. I feel like it would be a waste of money to not do it all aggressively, with fasting. Maybe that’s also part of my problem – all or nothing mentality.

    Well, here I am. I need to deal with this. It all scares me. I dread doctors bc they just criticize me and tell me I’m going to die. My diabetes is really out of control. I have an insulin pump but am currently using up some Lantus, so humalog throughout the day. We make just enough money to not qualify for help with medical expenses. Our private insurance is about $500/month, with insulins and Advair another $500/month. It makes me furious, so I try to stretch meds. I’m wheezy now, from stretching Advair. I’m mad, guilty, tired, and running a big family here.

    I keep saying I’m going to….. but then this morning, we had leftover birthday cake for breakfast. Cooked a good lunch, had Coke with it. It’s like I WANT to sabotage myself! Nobody believes me anymore, I’ve lost respect for my own will and discipline. I wish i could be checked into a rehab place, lol, but not funny. I don’t want to die, but I’m slowly killing myself.

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