- August 19, 2014 at 3:11 am #120737
InsentientIllnessMemberTopics: 2Replies: 9
Most of the post I see on here are more towards the physical aspects of this ill condition which is helpful, but this affects so much, and causes a interlinking chain reaction, and it would be nice to talk about it with, hopefully, someone who understands for a change. I wanted to touch more on the brain and life aspects of this.
So when I became ill about 5 years ago my ability to recall episodes of my life, memories, experiences and such greatly reduced and with each passing week and month it reduced more. It wasn’t much over half a year til I pretty much couldn’t recall anything from my episodic memory at all. New memories quickly got buried from one millisecond to the next. It’s like when you have a dream and the vividness of that dream quickly fades to none upon awakening. Conversations I’ve had with people, meaningful talks with close friends, the memory of how they look, sounds, the connections and emotions. I. Remember. None. I can’t recall every hanging out with them. I still have the factual part of my memory working well enough for me to still know that I know them along with some basic information, but the meaningful stuff. The personal stuff. Gone. I don’t even remember myself. Who I use to be. Who I wanted to be. I’ve lost almost all my close friends and have become very isolated, which most likely makes things worse, and I don’t think I can do much to anything about it. How can I connect with others if I’m not even connected with who I am and who I use to be. I’ve tried different things for memory and got tested for b12 def. which came back fine.
Oh and about losing close friends. It still affects me even though I can’t recall ever seeing, talking, and (other meaningful stuff here) with them. I still know enough that it affects me and I can’t talk to the old close friend(not even sure I should) cause, well I just don’t understand, don’t recall. I wouldn’t get words out. Like emm… umm.. hmmm.. we were close right? what happened there? I’m so weird. I forget life is still moving for other people while I’ve been stuck being ill.
When it comes to my emotions I’ve used many different words to describe it and all the words are like a dozen ways to describe nothing, but each word does have a slightly different meaning to me. I’ve went from void, vacant, drained, empty, blank, gone, fog, nothing,.. but the word I think is more suiting now is insentient. It not only describes my lack of feeling but also touching on my loss of understanding. The smartness I had before, my answer seeking wonder, ability to think well and understand. That has also gotten pretty bad. Understanding comes with experience, and I’ve been forgetting all of my experiences.
The way I am now I can’t really act “normal”. I’m weird, and not in a “cool, I can pull it off” way. I’m just off, odd, distant, sometimes creepy, not good with talking at all, uneasy, weirdo. I’m in a corner, a really dark corner, and I just want to get out. But I can’t. I don’t have the tools for a social life, and I don’t have the tools that would get me the tools. I’m not even sure if I want to continue trying. My memories are buried, emotions are buried. It’s like I’m pretty much already buried anyway. I’m sure the tools are out there but I don’t know where to look or what to do. The body and mind are freak’en complicated and I can’t figure it out. I’m not really looking for advice on what supplements might help(though that would be ok). I’m more just wanting to know if someone understands.
p.s. I will forget most of what I just wrote up there^ by tomorrowAugust 19, 2014 at 5:40 pm #120754
rasterParticipantTopics: 104Replies: 6838
I recommend trying out some brain related supplements that will improve your mental health. One of the cheapest is flax oil (with lignens) which is a fatty acid that will heal your brain and heart. Your brain is largely composed of fat so to heal it, you need fatty acids.
Another supplement to look into is PS-100 which is a brain chemical that can help you sleep. It also boosts memory and provides a bunch of beneficial things for brain health. Only get the expensive stuff if possible.
Another thing I would look into is trying out acupuncture. This will help you detox and rebalance the body, and in general it should help your memory also.
-rasterAugust 19, 2014 at 6:16 pm #120756
TheChosenOneParticipantTopics: 34Replies: 410
5HTP works very good for me.August 19, 2014 at 6:31 pm #120757
HenschyParticipantTopics: 6Replies: 43
Yes like Raster said, theres brain supplements to help with the symptoms.
I do Flax oil, PS-100, Super Neurogen, E3AFA, Fish oil, Sf722, Coconut oil. And I also exercise(running) and theres a brain trainer that improves diffrent brain functions, http://www.Lumosity.com that I highly recommend that you do everyday, doing all of this myself combined, I noticed a big diffrence and Im starting to get back memory and other brain functions! I’m not done yet but it’s working and that’s a great feeling!
For best effect you should try to get some exercise done shortly before doing Lumosity on those days you exercise. On the other days, just do Lumosity anyway.
As for the cause of this, it might be Mercury toxicity, Lyme Disease or something else. You should ask for some tests for that, in the meantime these things I said should make it easier for you to cope with everyday life.
Some links for the supplements:
PS-100, it’s up to you which one you choose: http://www.iherb.com/search?kw=ps-100&x=0&y=0#p=1
Fish oil, maybe Raster can chime in on a good brand here? Mines only available in Sweden.
Coconut oil, same there, I get a local brand, but just make sure it’s not hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated! Get one that’s organic, unsweetened, cold pressed and no additives.
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