Get back on the saddle, Hope! It’s ok!
You are right on the nose though – the cheating (even blueberries) is only prolonging the pain and cravings. I did blueberries a couple of times at first and when I cut them out, it really helped.
I also have to make sure I never leave the house without food. The other day I went to work for this lady and there was all this free bread that smelled so good, and I hadn’t packed enough lunch. I was FREAKING OUT and had to leave early so I wouldn’t eat it :p Happens to the best of us.
What I try to do is make stuff in advance as much as possible, and I’ve also gotten used to just eating things cold. Also, I have this AMAZING thermos by Kleen Kanteen that keeps soup hot for literally 8 hours. So you could heat soup up in the morning, then throw that in your bag for later – some Bieler broth, etc. I also have been trying to come up with a lot of easy 10-15 minute meals, or meals that maybe take a little longer, but I can go do something else while something is the oven, etc. Curry is one that is delicious and super easy (I think I posted the recipe on here, but if not, it’s on my blog or message me and I’ll send it to you) – I made it tonight with frozen asparagus and it was literally ten minutes to prepare and tasted AMAZING.
Also, I know the feeling of oh, I’m sick, I can’t handle anything but ____ food that isn’t on the diet. However, I found that after a few weeks of being on the diet, that completely reversed and the only food I know I can handle even on a rough day are things like plain cooked veggies or hot buckwheat cereal, not wheat or rice or cheese like I used to turn to.
It is so hard to not eat the foods you want, but seriously, once you get past the cravings phase (a few weeks), it gets so much easier. Now, the only time I have a lot of trouble is a situation like I stupidly stuck myself in the other day – free food that smells good and I don’t have anything of my own.