Thank you! Lets see how he will look at me when I hand it over to him! 😉
You wondered a little about depression, etc
I never was depressed, had panic attacks or anything in 49 years. I too was not depressed first and then things where going wacky with my body. What happened with me was that I struggled to heal myself for over a year and things didn’t improve even I lived like an angle. I was doing everything right so to speak and things turned from bad to worse. That really broke me at first.
Then in the mist of one of the worst symptom attacks I had. I was woken up in the middle of deep sleep from a panic totally flipping out. Being half away I wondered what is going on with me and fear came. This fear about loosing control over my body was the first panic attack I ever had. It was strange as it took me by surprise, I was not dwelling on negative thoughts or anything. I was sleeping.
After that I was afraid for the fear to come back and the suffering started.
Then I noticed a big thing which I like to share with you. It helps me greatly and keeps the depression and panic attacks at bay.
I noticed that I am not my body, I noticed too that I am not my thoughts or feelings either. I was watching it all, yes I experienced them but I am not it. I could see the thoughts and feelings coming and going, I too noticed the changes in my body but I was always the witness of it.
It was much like being the buss driver watching people going in and out of the buss, being for a while in my bus and then taking off never to be seen again.
How did that help me. Very simple when you know that you are not it, that you are not the deppression or the panic you discover a free space between yourself and the stuff forever changing. You are the unchangeable. Does that mean I dont experience unpleasant things and sympthoms. No, not att all. But it is like rain falling on my head. I am not saying I am rain. Or I am sick or I am depressed.
I am not struggling any-more I watch it and allow it. I see it coming and see it going. Things which come are not stable, they come and go like thoughts or feelings. I noticed what I resist persists and gets stronger. This space of truth I discovered allows me to lay low when the attacks come. I watch reality what it is. I am watching tremors in my body, ok. I feel my heart palpations, ok. I know they came and will go, I see them too going away, ok. I am still here. Great!
Believe me my friend you are ok, you will always be ok, even if it rains some shit sometimes. You are not it and you are OK!