Lynn;44563 wrote: Just checking in here!
I’m still upset about my dog… I had a pretty bad Saturday and was actually feeling suicidal (something that used to be quite normal for me before… so I was scared when I started to feel that way again… it’s the worst feeling ever). I had a horrible panic attack over a few things (my dog, my car, and another separate money issue). I just became so panicked that I just started looking for places to buy chloroform online so I could just end it all. I don’t take stress very well, and combined with this diet it was really setting me off. I thought my friend was going to have to lock me up in a looney bin at one point because I was really losing it. But anyway, I just cried myself to sleep and woke up the next day and tried to take my own advice about not letting the world get to me and that everything is impermanent in life and it’s really all not as big of a deal as I’m making it out to be… there are far worse things happening to people across the globe and I tried to put things into perspective. Luckily, that snapped me out of it and I was able to get on with my day with little-to-no-recurrent morbid thoughts. It’s very hard to snap yourself out of that mindset when it’s going on, even though logically you know better. I’m actually very afraid of this diet, because I really don’t want to start feeling that way like I did for those 8 years (on and off). It was hell on earth. I’m hoping that was the worst part of it and I’ll be able to handle the stress a little better as time goes on. I still have to deal with my other issues, but all I can do is take it day by day I suppose, and keep at this diet so I can keep getting stronger.
Okay… thanks for reading. I’ll try to post back here every now and then with updates and the sort. Later ~
Sorry to hear about your dog. Animals are indeed apart of our family and become very close to us.
I empathize with feelings of suicide. Dark, scary thoughts that can feel all encompassing.
Healing indeed takes time; the toxins can bring out “the demons” and are unsettling.
As a way of bringing out something positive I would like to say that I have been encouraged by reading your posts. You seem very determined, positive, and obviously have an inner strength and spirit guiding you.
Keep hanging in and checking in Lynn, you are doing good work!!