Hope, I know its hard. Everyone of us here on the forum, and the thousands and thousands of past & current sufferers have gone through this. If they can do it, you can.
At the beginning, I had some very difficult decisions to make. I quit everything from coffee, tea, sugar, weed, cigs, beer, liquor, exercise, etc. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But I did it.
It then took a few months for me to get to a place where I can “notice” symptoms from specific things. When you first start the diet, you are in so much suffering that you can’t distinguish what items are causing problems. But you’ll get there eventually.
I’ve been on the diet for 5 months, and the other day I had a cookie and a sandwich while attending a catered business lunch. Within hours, I was itching my nose, my brain fog returned, and then depression set in. It took a week for me to get back to where I was before the cheat. That’s the reality for severe cases of candida. I’ve had those cheats every month or so…each time it takes less days to recover, probably due to kefir and probiotics…but it tells me that I’m still very very far from curing myself. Yeah, I’ve cried about it. I’ve gone to some dark places and been in despair. But then I find a way to pick myself up again, and tell myself that I will not be like this forever. Eventually I will get symptom free, and then eventually I will be able to slowly test foods back into my diet. That might take another year…that might take 2 years. Who knows…I do know one thing, I will get there, and it will not take an entire lifetime to do it.
Find a way to be thankful for what you have. You have a partner and a child that care about you. I want those things dearly, but I will have to go through this healing process alone. I’m thankful that I am still young enough to find and start a family of my own once I have healed.
You’ll start seeing a major difference once you start staking days together of no cheats (and I mean weed too). Then you’ll stack weeks together, then months…then I and others on here will notice you are posting positive remarks and it will be such a great achievement.
You will surprise yourself when you find the true you that comes to life as you kill/starve all of this yeast. Depending on just how long candida has slowly progressed in you, perhaps you’ve never even met this person.