- July 2, 2013 at 9:23 pm #107134
JojillaMemberTopics: 21Replies: 51
Considering how much culture revolves around eating and socializing, I’m curious to know how some of the folks that have been doing this for awhile handle this? I’m assuming time just makes it easier?
We have had friends staying with us, and I have, despite gearing up to “not let it bother me” felt bummed out a few times around meals and such. Last night, they were all going to a restaurant for cocktails and tapas and then out for dessert afterward, and I just needed a break from it, so I stayed home while the three of them went out. But that made me feel crappy, too.
I do want my health back more than I want a cocktail or cookie, AND this kind of sucks, right?
So I’m wondering what your strategies are? Or what your mindset is? Or the emotional space you find to do this?July 2, 2013 at 9:43 pm #107135
Able900SpectatorTopics: 92Replies: 4811
I think this is probably one part of the treatment in which a very independent personality would work well. Even before I started the treatment, I always figured it’s no body’s business what I eat or what I choose to drink. Even at this point, after one cup of coffee first thing in the morning, all I drink the remainder of the day is water. People are forever telling me to order this or that when I go out, but I simply say, “I prefer water, thanks” and they generally leave me alone afterwards.
Be your own person and do what suits you and not the people you’re with. You can still be a good friend without adhering to their eating and drinking habits.
AbleJuly 2, 2013 at 9:46 pm #107136
approximately_meMemberTopics: 28Replies: 186
I just accept this as the condition of my existence for now. Fighting it and worrying about it just sinks your energy.
If my friends are meeting for supper I just show up late when everybody will be finishing up (having just eaten a delicious meal at home). If we’re at someone’s house having drinks, I just bring along a couple bottles of kombucha or water kefir.
Like Able, I’m pretty independent so it doesn’t bother me that much. Also, my friends are intelligent enough to understand.
~SJuly 2, 2013 at 10:10 pm #107137
rasterParticipantTopics: 104Replies: 6828
You just gotta tough it out until you get better and can cheat regularly. I hate to rub it in, but nowadays I just go for it if I want it really bad (I’ve been on diet for 2 years). This weekend I am going to a wedding and a BBQ with lots of poisons.
However, if you wanted to attend with them, I would find establishments that serve salads and other safe foods so that you can eat with them. Instead of desert, I would eat some fruit perhaps. Instead of the cocktails, drink some special tea. You can still make it special, you just have to think ahead.
-rasterJuly 4, 2013 at 1:25 am #107201
shayfoMemberTopics: 18Replies: 668
It’s rough, for sure. There are a couple of other threads where this sort of thing has been hashed out at length, if you want to browse through them to see if they’re of any help to you.July 4, 2013 at 4:42 am #107209
alexalgebraMemberTopics: 41Replies: 643
This has definitely been one of the biggest struggles for me! I used to eat out a lot, and I am a recovering alcoholic, so I had already been through the whole figure-out-how-to-socialize-without-drinking-thing, but it was the hardest part about getting sober. I think people underestimate how difficult it is to cope socially when you can’t participate in what other folks see as “normal” or “everyday” activities.
I am pretty independent and somewhat of a loner, so it hasn’t bothered me too much staying in most of the time, but there have been some really difficult nights where I came home in tears because everyone was eating pizza and ice cream and having an amazing time and I couldn’t participate. I generally just bring a big bag of snacks and food with me wherever I go, and avoid anything that might involve eating out. One cool thing, though, is that I have started doing a lot of tabletop gaming with folks now, and discovered that it’s a great way to socialize that doesn’t revolve around consuming anything I can’t consume safely!
If you are not feeling emotionally steady, I would highly recommend just staying away from any place that you are not comfortable at. Your friends should understand. Don’t put yourself in harm’s way over social obligation or anything; it’s not worth it.July 4, 2013 at 11:08 am #107220
kjones02ParticipantTopics: 79Replies: 315
Yes, it is very hard. whenever I have a get together with my partner’s family anymore, I bring my own food, and I think everybody is understanding. However, it does get hard sometimes because I have to plan. I feel I just can’t pick up and go someplace. Also, some nights it gets lonely because I might be tired, and my partner will go next door to his grandparents if they fix something good. I just stay at home eating my food and watch tv.
I haven’t treated myself if quite awhile now staying to diet. Last night different story though. It was my partner’s birthday, and his mom wanted to take us out to eat. I decided to try and be brave to see if I can try the best I can staying to diet. I didn’t feel too bad afterwards, but I was mad at the extra ingredient they put in my meal. I just ordered an appetizer. I asked if the spring rolls were gluten free, and they said yes. It was a spring rolls with bean sprouts, cucumbers, veggies insides. I ate about 1/4-1/3rd of it. I am leaving the rest of the leftovers for my partner to eat. The only thing that they didn’t tell me is about the sauce they put on there. It was sweet, and I can just tell it was feeding the candida! It is weird, it sort of felt like a high with the sugar. Like I said, I didn’t feel really bad afterwards; I’ll just have to monitor how I feel today.
Once you get used to things though, I think you will prefer just to eat this way; I do. I just feel better doing it; still got lots of digestion issues to work out, but I feel it is way better than it used to, and if something happens, then I can bounce back faster with probiotics and anti-fungals. Plus, working with this nd has been helping, but yes, at the beginning, you have to watch it!
Hang in there, and just try to do the best you can!!! I am already worried about this weekend because I feel if I mess up on food (I eat small portions because of my gastroparesis anyways) then I can just bounce right back into diet.
However, like alex said, alcohol can be a trigger for me. This is the hardest thing!!!!!! This weekend I am trying to plan a late suprise for my partner’s b-day (his 30th), so I felt I like didn’t do that much yesterday, but he loves to drink. I planned something with his friends at our local wineries here. I am a light weight. I have gotten better, and think about, ok, how bad are you going to feel the next day, yucky! I don’t even remember the last time I had a drink. I just feel it’s not worth it. Sorry, for the rant, I go to a lot of social events that involve alcohol, but I think people do start to understand that you just don’t want to. I hope one day that I can really splurge on alcohol one night, plus my b-day is coming up! Just listen to your body, and hang in there!July 5, 2013 at 10:06 pm #107295
many sparrowsMemberTopics: 9Replies: 42
They mean any situation where you meet with friends or family to socialise. A party or a wedding, or just meeting a few friends in the evening. These things always revolve around food don’t they.
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