Eating Out and Significant Other

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Rob 1 year, 1 month ago.

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  • #175061

    Nadss.Jovita
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    Hello all,

    I am looking for some advice and tips on how to deal with the Candida diet when going out and also how to get your significant other to see it in a positive light.

    I have recently started the diet after dealing with IBS for ten years with extreme bloating (have to sit half an hour after every meal or I get an IBS attack).

    As I want to get better, I understand the diet is a must and though it will be a challenge, it is one I know I can do…however my SO and I are HUGE foodies. Cooking and going to restaurants is a big deal to us. My other half is very upset with the idea of not being able to share these things with me to the same degree and is taking it hard.

    So, I was wondering if anyone had any tips on how we could still go out to restaurants while still sticking (me) to the diet? Like Indian or thai restaurants? Or anything?
    When I am better will I be able to make exceptions and go out to dinner sometimes? How have others been able to not let this diet become a negative issue when your partner’s joy happens to be to cook for you?

    Any advice or insight would be great, thanks so much!

    #175062

    Rob
    Participant
    Topics: 2
    Replies: 7

    Hi!

    This really resonates with me because I had/have the same challenges with my other half.

    I don’t know where you’re from but my missis is a Geordie (from Newcastle, UK) and they love to drink! We used to go out for dinner all the time and although I followed a gluten free diet, we weren’t noticeably restricted by my choices. Since I’ve stopped drinking and eating so restrictively, it’s been a challenge to keep the peace. Last thing you need when you’re trying to beat this condition is additional stress from your loved ones.

    Basically, throughout my 2 year relationship, I’ve been managing my symptoms without actually combatting the infection (just going gluten free and trying not to binge on sugar). I finally started a candida-prohibitive diet in anger in October. I’ve been making great progress in the last few weeks and can see the end in sight. What I’ve been doing the last few months has been following the candida diet in conjunction with enemas, which I personally feel are essentially for those battling candida in the large intestine. Now; I’m 27 years old and I don’t particularly enjoy doing enemas or want my loved ones knowing that I do them so I’ve been quite secretive. The problem we have is healthy people can’t relate and don’t understand what we’re going through. It’s compounded by the fact the NHS in the UK don’t recognise the condition. My partner works for the NHS and although she tries to radiate a sense of understanding, she’s mostly just tolerated whilst probably questioning my sanity. “You just have IBS Rob, accept it”

    I do have some tips for you.

    What I’ve found that’s helped me is I got a proper stool test done that proved I had a number of infections (candida, parasites and h pylori) as well as leaky gut. I got this from Genova Diagnostics. I’ve found it much easier to go toe to toe with my family and partner with some evidence of my condition as ammunition. I’m happy to say I’m now free of h pylori and parasites 😀

    Secondly, the hardest thing for me was to show some vulnerability to my loved ones and admit to the enemas. It seems extreme but I’m willing to go to extreme lengths to beat candida. In the last few weeks, the stress of hiding them finally got the better of me as my partner started to resent the treatment. I told her about the enemas. I’ve even shown her photos of the aftermath (6-10 inch long strings of fungus and biofilm) that I’ve been expelling after each successful retention enema with nystatin. I’ve also showed these photos to my brother (who I live with) and his attitude to my self-treatment has completely changed as well. It’s made it very real for them and made them realise that I’m right about my condition and can beat it. Suddenly they both want to discuss how the treatment is going and how I’m feeling as they no longer think I’ve just gone mad. Tbh, it amazes me how much people are able to accept from you if they really love you. I convinced myself if my partner knew I was doing enemas, it’d be a huge turn off! Don’t get me wrong, we don’t discuss my enemas as part of foreplay but there is a time and a place to discuss it and it doesn’t phase her.

    So basically, if you haven’t already, find ways to help them understand that the suffering is very real and you’ll never be happy until you’ve fixed it. This has actually helped me personally with the treatment because I now no longer feel alone and I can share my successes and frustrations with the people I love. My partner is now very cooperative and adapts all her cooking for me. She understands that going out for food is one of life’s luxuries that we’ll have to give up temporarily but there’s nothing stopping her going out and doing that with her friends and family. She isn’t dependent on me, which is how it should be.

    Personally, I don’t think there are many restaurants that can cater for people on the candida diet. No grains, no sugar, no dairy, no gluten, low starch – maybe specialist Paleo restaurants could cater for you. I’ve just come to accept that if I can stay disciplined now, it’ll pay off in the long run and I’ll be back to normal much quicker than if I strayed from the diet to appease my partner. Cooking-wise, I encourage my partner to not restrict herself. I always adapt my meals for her so that they’re still enjoyable and I encourage her to do the same when it’s her time to take charge of the frying pan. So if I cooked a thai meal (most, if not all ingredients are safe with coconut-based curries), I’ll make her rice as a side dish and I’ll just have pak choi and broccoli instead. She can drink both bottles of wine and I’ll just have water and some stomach acid supplements! It doesn’t bother me because it’s for the greater good 🙂

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