Comments from well-meaing friends and family

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  myword12345 5 years, 9 months ago.

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  • #108418

    HeatherJ
    Member
    Topics: 24
    Replies: 34

    To start, I am an American who immigrated to The Netherlands almost two years ago. The Dutch don’t like to be too hard-core about anything. They tend to dislike extremes and prefer a middle of the road approach. And the Dutch, as a whole, tend to have really horrible doctors.

    So, you can imagine the response I get from people. I have had a few friends be very supportive. However, most of them roll their eyes and wonder if this is some sort of attempt at weight loss. They do not know how sick I have been, and I do not feel as if I should have to tell them just so that they can stop pressuring me to have one glass of rose’. “What harm can one glass do?” “Wow, this is an extreme thing you are doing. Have you called a doctor?”

    Worse, several friends have accused me of punishing myself. They say that I am doing this to myself …that I should just relax and have a sandwich. I have tried to explain that is like telling a diabetic to relax and have a dozen doughnuts. “So, you are diabetic?”

    How do people handle the stress-and anxiety-that comes when explaining this diet to friends and family?

    #108422

    DaughterNature
    Member
    Topics: 20
    Replies: 82

    Heather,

    My dad says I have an eating disorder although his American diet seems less productive than my restrictive diet. My boyfriend’s family saw me go from eating deep dish pizza, cake, and fruits to eating vegetables and taking supplements only. I am now 4 weeks into the diet and can eat things like oat bran, kefir, and more filling foods to help me gain back weight and energy. Are you loosing a lot of weight?

    If your friends are simply commenting on your diet then their cultural biases should not be taking seriously. A sandwich won’t necessarily heal you and if healing and feeling better are your main concerns then the unprofessional, unrelated advice from your loved ones should be politely dismissed. For instance, my father has no idea how good I feel after starting this diet; my boyfriend’s family doesn’t understand that “popping pills” is supposed to relieve me of discomfort, embarrassment, and a myriad of other issues that plague my life. And who knows, if these people have bad lifestyle habits they may one day be asking you for advice… Do not let commentary take you off the path of healing; after several more months of dieting they may stop griping at you and perhaps–if you don’t cheat–they may respect your zeal and commitment.

    🙂

    #108512

    Floggi
    Member
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 425


    I’ve lived in the Netherlands all my life, and I’m really glad we have such extremely good doctors. Well educated, honest, and open.

    For example, our doctors together took action about the once prevalent standard use of antibiotics against almost everything. Heck, antibiotics were even prescribed against the flu, which is a virus infection so antibiotics do not work at all!

    Despite patients uproar, resulting in some cases of severely beaten up doctors because the patient demanded to have antibiotics (or whatever other medication), doctors persisted in educating the masses, in being reluctant with antibiotics, psychofarmaca and other medication.

    Now we are by far the lowest consumers of antibiotics. We also have an extremely low number of teenage pregnancies.

    I’m really glad my doctor has good knowledge, listens to me, and decides upon the best approach in consultation with me. I’m not just a passive patient awaiting His Majesty’s Good Decision – instead, we decide together on whether I need treatment, and if so: which treatment.

    #108516

    HeatherJ
    Member
    Topics: 24
    Replies: 34

    Floggi-Do you have a doctor who you could recommend who is familiar with Candida?

    Nice to know that someone in this country has had a positive experience with doctors-you are honestly the first person I have heard (read) who has positive things to say about their doctor. While you are right in that they are slow to prescribe antibiotics, they are slow to suggest anything beyond paracetamol. But you are also right in that if you go in knowing what is already wrong with you, they will do as you ask. But it has been my experience that American doctors do the same thing. But in my perfect world, the doctor would have more of a diagnostic clue than me. LOL.

    Thank goodness for the internet!

    #108543

    Floggi
    Member
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 425


    I do not know which doctors would be familiar with candida.

    In general, all of my family and friends have positive experiences with doctors. The only negative stories I hear are about doctors not really listening to their patients, and starting to write some standard prescription before the patient has even finished telling their story. But even those cases are very rare now.

    Most doctors I have heard about listen to their patients, then try to find the best solution that fits that particular patient. They generally judge the level of expertise of the patient. If the patient seems to have no knowledge, the advise and explain what they prescribe. If the patient has lots of knowledge, they advise and explain too, but the patient can actively participate in the judging of the pros and cons of several alternatives. That’s what generally happens when I visit my doctor.

    Of course, the doctor expects from me that I do listen to him too. I cannot just walk in, say “hey doc, this is my diagnosis, I have found a suitable cure, so please prescribe that to me, will you!”, and expect the doctor to comply.

    Once when I visited my doctor with skin problems, the doctor told me honestly that he couldn’t determine the cause. He then explained that he could have my skin tested, but these tests are very expensive, and they take lots of time, which would only delay the starting of my treatment. So he proposed to just prescribe me some ointment that has been effective in about 80% of similar cases. I would try the ointment, and if it worked then fine, if not I would have to come back in a week.

    The ointment didn’t help me: I belonged to the other 20%. So I returned. My doctor then asked me how much of a problem my irritation was, because the next step would depend on that. As it was only mildly irritating, he proposed to try a second ointment now, and a third one if the second one wouldn’t work either, and only go into extensive skin testing if the third one would fail too. If my problems would have been more severe, he would have sent me into the extensive testing immediately.

    So together (!) we decided to try the second ointment.

    To make a long story short, the second one had only a small effect on my skin irritation. The third ointment finally solved the problem.

    It was a long route, but my doctor and I decided on this together, so this was fine. I really like my doctor for listening to me like that!

    If I now visit my doctor, I always tell him that I do not want to receive any treatment at all if he thinks my complaints will disappear by themselves. My doctor agrees with that.

    Of course many times I have no idea what causes my complaints. My doctor does know – well, most of the time, and if he doesn’t, he isn’t afraid to admit that. He isn’t afraid either to look things up if I turn out to have something rare. Once he asked me to leave and to phone him in two days, so he could consult with another doctor who had more knowledge about a particular set of diseases. I really like that attitude: no-one has perfect knowledge, and my doctor is perfectly aware that this applies to him too, and he acts accordingly. That’s what I consider a real expert.

    #108546

    raster
    Participant
    Topics: 104
    Replies: 6838

    I recommend educating yourself more about candida and then you will be able to share the information you have learned. A great place to start out is by listening to dr. mcoomb’s radio shows:

    http://www.candidaplan.com/new/media_center/

    -raster

    #108712

    Cypher
    Member
    Topics: 0
    Replies: 7

    I get this problem a lot and it is very frustrating!
    I think we must all get this. People just do not understand. One problem that I run into is that people are constantly telling me I need to eat more fruit.

    #108766

    alexalgebra
    Member
    Topics: 41
    Replies: 643

    I just smile and politely tell folks that I have it under control, and that I was literally near death a few months ago, and now I am feeling quite healthy.

    If someone has a problem with me, it’s their problem, not mine, and I hope that I can just be a good role model for taking charge of one’s health and committing to a lifestyle that promotes energy, happiness, peace, and health.

    #109182

    myword12345
    Member
    Topics: 18
    Replies: 55

    I am going threw the same thing it is frustrating!

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