Bummin' :(

This topic contains 18 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by  alexalgebra 6 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #99977

    alexalgebra
    Member
    Topics: 41
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    I feel like I’m posting a ton lately, but oh well!

    I’m having a bummer day today and need to let out my feelings :p

    Yesterday I went to the sauna for like an hour, then I ate a ton of this new coconut butter today and man…I feel TERRIBLE. Like gross, toxic terrible. I don’t know if the sauna dregged up some crap and then the new coconut butter is a lot stronger than my old stuff or what, but I feel gross, depressed, sad, angry, brain foggy, and all around awful.

    I got my old job back one day a week and today was my first day back. It felt really weird and I didn’t do very well. I don’t know if the energy is just tense because the office still might have to close or what, but nobody seemed very happy and I had a client call and complain about my manager messing up a bunch of work. Just kind of a letdown after I was so excited to get some hours back 🙁

    Also, due to the die-off or whatever is going on with me today, I got overwhelmed super easily and didn’t do a great job with one of our clients. I also just got really depressed that the candida has basically killed my career…I used to be SO good at what I do, and now I’m too slow and bogged down and overwhelmed to do even a quarter of what I used to be able to accomplish. I used to be smart and now I feel like a big dummy all the time 🙁 Some days, like today, it’s difficult to even hold a conversation because I can’t remember what I’m supposed to say or what was already said. At my old job, I used to be the top person there.

    Luckily, I’ve got a separate work from home gig that allows me to work whenever and however much I want, and it’s pretty ideal for someone with candida, but going into the office today just really got me down. I hate feeling stupid because I know I’m not, I just act like it sometimes because I can’t think or remember stuff anymore 🙁

    I feel like I used to have all of these goals and dreams and now my only goal is to stop feeling like shit and heal from this stupid candida. It’s really sad. I’m 31, I’m supposed to be in my peak with a family and a career and all that crap, and instead I’m living in poverty with a disease that doctors don’t even acknowledge, surrounded by half-assed unfinished projects and ideas.

    I hope this goes away soon and I get back to feeling better like I was. This is so hard sometimes…such a bumpy road. Good for 3 days, bad for 1, good for 5, bad for 3, etc. At least there are good days now, though.

    #99980

    shayfo
    Member
    Topics: 18
    Replies: 668

    On the other hand, you’re awesome, and you’re doing so much better than you were three months ago, so…moot point? <3

    #99981

    alexalgebra
    Member
    Topics: 41
    Replies: 643

    shayfo;38483 wrote: On the other hand, you’re awesome, and you’re doing so much better than you were three months ago, so…moot point? <3

    This is so true.

    Just in a funky funk today.

    #99982

    moochpb
    Member
    Topics: 112
    Replies: 688

    Sounds like die off from sauna drawing out toxins. It will pass and you will feel good again

    #99983

    mrs.candida
    Member
    Topics: 53
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    I used to be smart and now I feel like a big dummy all the time 🙁

    Mee Toooo! It’s the worst when you can’t think of a word to complete your sentence, you feel like the other person must think your crazy.

    It sounds like you got in a funk mentally and it was die off. (YAY!)

    I’m 31, I’m supposed to be in my peak with a family and a career and all that crap, and instead I’m living in poverty with a disease that doctors don’t even acknowledge, surrounded by half-assed unfinished projects and ideas.

    Well, that’s where I was at age 31. The good news it that you won’t still be there at my age (36) because your winning your battle with Candia now.

    #99987

    shayfo
    Member
    Topics: 18
    Replies: 668

    And for the record, we’re shockingly fabulous for how impoverished we are.

    #99989

    alexalgebra
    Member
    Topics: 41
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    mrs.candida;38486 wrote:

    Mee Toooo! It’s the worst when you can’t think of a word to complete your sentence, you feel like the other person must think your crazy.

    It sounds like you got in a funk mentally and it was die off. (YAY!)

    I’m 31, I’m supposed to be in my peak with a family and a career and all that crap, and instead I’m living in poverty with a disease that doctors don’t even acknowledge, surrounded by half-assed unfinished projects and ideas.

    Well, that’s where I was at age 31. The good news it that you won’t still be there at my age (36) because your winning your battle with Candia now.

    Yeah, it’s just hard for me to even talk to people that don’t understand what it’s like to either have or be around someone that has a chronic condition that makes them braindead sometimes :p I can only fake normal for a few minutes before it becomes pretty obvious that I’ve got some problems.

    Thanks, and I know you’ll get through this too! When you come back to Portland, we can go celebrate our awesome, healthy lives together at the farmer’s market 😉

    #99990

    alexalgebra
    Member
    Topics: 41
    Replies: 643

    shayfo;38490 wrote: And for the record, we’re shockingly fabulous for how impoverished we are.

    YEAH WE ARE!

    Not gonna lie, I am watching tutorials on how to make DIY platform sneakers right now because I’m just that effing fabulous 😀

    #100002

    shell1226
    Member
    Topics: 8
    Replies: 71

    OK, Alex, if you do get around to making those DIY platform sneakers, you must show us.
    I just love knowing such fabulous people!

    Rachelle
    There is no junkfood. There is junk and there is food.

    #100008

    1533jd
    Member
    Topics: 46
    Replies: 112

    Hey Alexalgebra! Im sorry to hear you’ve had a rough day! This blog always picks me up when I feel down (http://1000awesomethings.com/) and always helps brings me back down to earth and appreciate the small things in life when I feel down in the dumps. It also helps encourage me to be mindful.

    This is another blog I’ve found recently which I thought was really useful, check out his most popular posts, some really interesting pointers! http://theconsciouslife.com/15-natural-strategies-to-overcome-anxiety.htm

    Dont worry about your job your trying to do your best and thats all what matters. You will improve, your cognition and toxic fatigue will also improve as a result and one day you will be better and perhaps even better than you were before! Because all the gunk which was probably inside you for years will be gone!! Mwahaha!

    I find its all about acceptance of where you are, if your anxious you are worrying about the future, if you are depressed you are thinking about the past and if you are content you are in the moment. Try and practice a bit of mindulness in the morning, 10 minutes, 20 minutes..whatever suits you. It’s worked wonders for my anxiety and toxic fatigue and Im sure it helps a lot for healing.

    Try and remember to get yourself into situations where you find yourself smiling and laughing whether it be seeing a friend or watching a funny film. Chronic illness sucks, especially if know one really understands, so just remember you deserve alot of “Me” time and deserve to be happy irrespective of your illness.

    I wish you all the best.

    JD

    #100056

    alexalgebra
    Member
    Topics: 41
    Replies: 643

    Thanks JD! I’ll check those sites out. I’m feeling a lot better today…just got really down in the dumps yesterday, I think just from some major toxin overload. Today I’m back to my usual self! I think I definitely need to steer clear of my friends that don’t understand chronic illness when I’m not feeling very strong, though…that was pretty terrible 🙁 I talked to her again today and she still was making some comments that were pretty ignorant, so…maybe I’m just gonna keep the chat time with her to a minimum until I’m feeling a lot better. She really likes to say things that make me feel inadequate due to candida, about how I should be doing more with my life and that sort of thing :p

    #100076

    1533jd
    Member
    Topics: 46
    Replies: 112

    Great to hear Alex! I would highly advise you to steer clear of people who undermine you and the disease and especially people who ridicule you on your current situation, I cant quite see the logic behind your friend thinking you need to do more!! Your trying to get back to your job and your occasionally working a job on the side! I have the utmost respect for you doing this, as I just wouldn’t be able to handle it. Anything you do outside the candida/chronic illness bubble has to be done in small steps…thats what your doing.

    Unfortunately I have had to move back in with my parents and if you read my story, they along with my siblings completely and utterly disagree with my belief that I have candida, SIBO etc, even after seeing the results! They just think of it as quackery and tbh I have spent so much energy in the past trying to convince them that now I just have to breathe deeply and just leave the room in order to keep my sanity.

    It sounds like your on the right track, keep strong and remember that people who don’t even know you care for your wellbeing. So much for losing faith in humanity hey!

    Keep in touch
    JD

    #100081

    alexalgebra
    Member
    Topics: 41
    Replies: 643

    1533jd;38579 wrote: Great to hear Alex! I would highly advise you to steer clear of people who undermine you and the disease and especially people who ridicule you on your current situation, I cant quite see the logic behind your friend thinking you need to do more!! Your trying to get back to your job and your occasionally working a job on the side! I have the utmost respect for you doing this, as I just wouldn’t be able to handle it. Anything you do outside the candida/chronic illness bubble has to be done in small steps…thats what your doing.

    Unfortunately I have had to move back in with my parents and if you read my story, they along with my siblings completely and utterly disagree with my belief that I have candida, SIBO etc, even after seeing the results! They just think of it as quackery and tbh I have spent so much energy in the past trying to convince them that now I just have to breathe deeply and just leave the room in order to keep my sanity.

    It sounds like your on the right track, keep strong and remember that people who don’t even know you care for your wellbeing. So much for losing faith in humanity hey!

    Keep in touch
    JD

    Thanks JD! Man, that sucks about your living and family situation 🙁 It’s good that you are comfortable enough with just leaving the room instead of engaging with them and making things more stressful and difficult. Such an important life lesson! I hope that you have a smooth recovery. I’m glad you’re here!

    #100082

    Emsmith
    Participant
    Topics: 25
    Replies: 137

    “I find its all about acceptance of where you are, if your anxious you are worrying about the future, if you are depressed you are thinking about the past and if you are content you are in the moment”

    JD i’ve been trying to put this into words for days, you summed it up perfectly
    thank you

    #100083

    1533jd
    Member
    Topics: 46
    Replies: 112

    My pleasure. Glad I could help!

    JD

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