Cheesey;41791 wrote: Nicely put!
I do, however, think there is a danger present here. It is made evident in the phrase:
the thought of not being fully alive […] is unacceptable
I wonder sometimes if we, the people who are struggling so hard to achieve a greater level of wellbeing, sometimes are striving for an ideal that does not exist. I sometimes think that people embark on this process for a cure to emotional as well as physical ailments, and place too high of an expectation on what they believe to exist on the other side.
I think sometimes we ought to accept what we are. This does not mean that we need to accept feeling bad. Rather, it means that we need to acknowledge that we are human beings and so are subject to frailty and suffering. I often see this most clearly on curezone, where people will do anything for an fabricated ideal of what it is to be alive. Increased wellbeing and happiness is a most worthwhile endeavour, yes, but we should also allow ourselves to realise that the human experience rises and falls, and sometimes will not fit with what we want it to be.
I’m not directing this at you and saying that you in particular are guilty of this. It’s as much beneficial for me to write it out so I can remind myself of this fact, because sometimes I get carried away. I think it’s a sentiment that everyone, even the healthy, would do well to be reminded of at times.
I do totally understand what you are saying. And there is something to learn from it.
I must say that, however, when you taste healing (as I have before) and the constant pain/fatigue is gone, and you feel joy (rather than constant depression) it sure makes it worth it.