Just wanted to add that you do actually touch on what I said in that very same sentence that I quoted before:
the thought of not being fully me is unacceptable
I think perhaps pausing to wonder what that really means can help is gain a great deal of insight. Though I do no wish to proselytise, in this situation I want to draw attention to the origins of the term ‘Buddha’ which, paraphrasing, essentially means ‘a person who is has awoken to their own true nature’. Going some way to a greater understanding and appreciation of ourselves could potentially have expansive curative properties.