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Update: Day… whatever. second week.
28feb to march 1st
Ouch, that was some bad constipation from the coffee and french fries incident last weekend. Bloating was also present. I havent been feeling too well because of these digestion problems and the hit my body had to take, but I think it is cleared up now. Now I can work towards more energy again.
The thing that made it worse though, the thing that makes my whole problem worse, is my negative thinking. I’ m constantly judging myself, feeling stupid for eating something not good, feeling guilty for a smoke. And all that negative emotions are gathering in my stomach. I can actually feel the strain.
My psychologist noticed this today too. He says that I am poisening myself with guilt and self condemnation. And as long as I am poisening myself, no diet will help me, and any medicine I take will have less effect. After this talk I realized that he was right, and I could immediately feel that my stomach was less of a mess. I need to forgive myself for not being perfect, and to just remember that I am really doing the best I can. I’m tired, I’ m ill, I’m limited in my food options, I’m prone to thinks negative thoughts, but thats all okay. I need to accept all of this, because its me. I am just a tiny human being with flaws. Realizing this already makes me feel like I’m improving my health, which in fact, is exactly what it is.
I’m running through my mms pretty quickly, so Ive halted the dose at 8 drops max. I’ve also gone from 4 times a day to 3, which is the normal dose. Running out of the stuff is not the only reason though, chlorine dioxide is pretty damn disgusting and gets harder to chuck down the more drops you use.
Next update soon.