I have social anxiety symptoms since I was about 12 or younger. It’s not easy to say definitely what is the cause. I’ve written in other topic about my difficult childhood, so that could be the cause. However, I tried cognitive behavioral therapy and it gave me 0% improve.
I’m becoming crazy when I’m near people. Even when my brother is walking around the room I feel uncomfortable. I avoid contact with people so much. But it doesn’t occur when I’m walking in the crowd – I even enjoy that.
When I was a kid and teen, I hated my appearance and have been bullied because of it. I felt like I’m worse person that anybody else. Even today I feel like that, but it’s not so concious feeling. My biggest nightmare is being in a group of people (let’s say 5-8) having to feel fun. My emotions when I’m with people are so fake.
But when my body feels better, my social anxiety decreases. I almost forgot how is it to feel good, but there were some days when I felt “fresh air” in my body and in my brain. I stopped caring about so many things then, like about how am I perceived by people who I don’t know. There must be some hormone which turns that on or something…
I feel sorry about myself that I lost so many years (high school, university). I never felt comfortable in my class, even though people were great.