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First off, sorry to hear you’re doing so poorly. Having suicidal thoughts has got to be terrible, but I urge you to stay strong and keep looking for answers.
When you chelated with ALA did you chelate according to the Andy Cutler protocol with an every 3 hour dosing schedule? If you have a mercury problem and take infrequent doses of ALA you can make the problem worse by inadvertently moving mercury into the brain. This can cause depression and suicidal thoughts like you mentioned.